Your Loss

Are you happy mom?

Are you happy you left us?

The last words you said to Kylie were, “I will see you very soon.”

That was 4 years ago. You still haven’t seen her.

Last time you saw her, you were falling all over the place, drunk.

We were just at a fair, you couldn’t contain yourself for an hour?

You abandoned me when I was a little younger, that’s one thing.

On top of that, you abandoned my beautiful babygirl.

Your granddaughter.

You know she still asks about you?

“Mom, what about your mom?”

I still till this day have no idea what to tell her. I’ve been trying to come up with an answer for quite sometime now.

At one point I didn’t think I deserved you in my life.

Fuck that, you just didn’t deserve me in yours. Now my points are valid.

You missed out on my beautiful daughters.

You don’t even know their voices, their goofy attitudes, the laughs that would make your heart melt. The dreams they have…yeah your not in them.

Your a stranger. You made it this way.

My youngest never even met you.

Penelope is too young to understand.

Is this what you wanted? Because you accomplished that, didn’t you?

There’s no laughs, no pushing on the swings, no giving your grandkids sugar just to hype them up for their parents, no hugs, and no loves. Those grandma kisses you don’t get to experience, but then again neither do they.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth the loss?

Was it worth the beer?

You already hit rock bottom.

What’s next?

20 thoughts on “Your Loss

  1. As a new grandparent, I can’t imagine behaving in a way that would prevent me from seeing Sophia and Violet. I’m sorry for your pain and loss, and will lift you and yours in prayer. Your mom as well, in hopes she will get her life together. All the best– Mike

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for this. There is too little honesty and vulnerability and integrity in the world. It is always a relief to see someone sharing from the bottom of their heart and the depth of their soul! Thanks for dropping by Rogue Millennials, and keep up your good work here 🙂 Your thoughts deserve a place to live and be expressed!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Our stories are the one thing that no one can challenge, no one can debate – they are one of the few things that can’t be taken from us, but can be freely given to those we choose. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Ooof…. On the whole, it’s likely best for your beautiful daughters that she isn’t in the picture. You wouldn’t expect your kids to deal with someone like this outside of “family” – why deal with it inside. The best answer to give your Kylie is that “Grandma has a sickness, and she can’t get well.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know I would just rather have her in our lives sober because I know how good of a person she once was but thank you Liz !!(: Means so much you keep up with my blog


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