I struggle.

I have a hard time even being in my own skin.

Like I’m drowning.

Drowning in thoughts and sadness.

If a wave of thoughts just took me, would that be such a bad thing?

They take me everyday.

Will anything ever be good enough?

That bitter taste of life.

Bills, stress, anxiety…

God must have said “Hey bless Felicia with this life.”

Besides my family, what use am I getting out of it?

I’m fighting.

I’m struggling.

I’m stressing.

You can say I need to fight to get what I want, but does it need to be so fucking hard all the time?

I say I hate being in my own skin, that’s just another fight alone.

You know me by now. I’m super loving, but why can’t I love myself and my life.

Why is it never good enough?

Why can’t I just feel okay?

Okay…Such a long word.

Life vs myself vs just shut up and get over it, right?

I try.

I’m shocked.

I can’t do it just as much as the person reading this.

I will, hopefully.

I will make something of myself.

You feel that, but as you step further and further into the ocean, eventually the current wants to take you.

You fight back, but realize… Wait a second? Everything will be okay if you don’t fight.


You can’t hold on to your last breathe forever.

11 thoughts on “Sinking

      1. The best friend who can help you is only yourself. Talk to your self and find a way to release stress, problems do end up for sure, when so many good things around the positive thoughts and plans can make you more cheerful. Speak to some one around you who can really understand your thoughts. More of it let’s pray together to get rid of all negative happening. You will be fine and the sun shines around you to make the way bright. Cheer up. We are all with you. 🌿🍀🌺

        Liked by 2 people

  1. You share your thoughts with your PEN N DIARY!…best way to hide n forget your problems! … Yes.. The current wants to take you to the depth of life’s success and blurry experiences to which you have to focus!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Notes and commented:
    Bills, stress, anxiety…

    Welcome to a world where most of us wear fake smiles and try our best to hide these pains that you described so well.


  3. The last line here is really profound
    As for negative thoughts I find I have to stand guard constantly. The very second I think something negative I do my best to contradict it with something positive, often our loud.
    We are not helpless against negative feelings. This is something I’m starting to figure out for myself but it’s not easy.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are not alone in these feelings.
    It may seem near impossible to believe but you don’t need to BE or DO something to be valuable each day, you already are just by being you.
    Sending love your way. Keep speaking, keep writing and thank you for being authentic in your struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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